Always
by dandilyon
Summary: Peeta and Katniss are forced to get married a little earlier than they anticipated. How will it effect the Quarter Quell, and eventually, the rebellion?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello readers :) **

***SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT READ CATCHING FIRE OR MOCKINGJAY***

**This chapter is a little on the shorter side, but I hope to make them a bit longer as the story progresses. This story takes place shortly after the Victory Tour, about two months before the Quell. I wanted to know what would happen if Peeta and Katniss had their wedding a little earlier, and how it would change things both with the revolution and their lives. This story will go on through Catching Fire and Mockingjay, as if Katniss and Peeta really were married as Peeta said in his interview before the Quell.**

**Obviously, I am not Suzanne Collins and I do not own any of these characters or ideas written in this story.**

**Let me know if you have any suggestions or concerns. **

**Constructive criticism is appreciated :) **

**I hope you enjoy! **

* * *

It's raining when I wake up.

For a moment, I stay still, watching the drops of rain slide across the window and disappear. My nightmare replays through my head and I shudder. I feel Peeta rustle beside me, then mumble my name. I turn to look at him as his mumbles get louder and more urgent. He's having a nightmare. "Peeta," I sit up straight and shake his shoulder. "It's just a dream, wake up." His eyes fly open and latch on to mine, panic turning suddenly into relief. "Katniss." He whispers.

"I'm here. It's just a nightmare, it's okay." He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to steady his breathing. I stroke his cheek with my thumb and grab his hand. When he calms down, he opens his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly.

"Cato. He killed you, and made me watch." Peeta says. His face takes on a pained expression at the memory.

"I'm okay. We're safe." I say to him. He sits up and leans against the headboard. I move so that we are closer, keeping our fingers entwined. I lay my head on his shoulder. It's silent, for a moment.

"I don't think I can go back to sleep." He says.

"I can't either."

"Katniss," he says softly. "What are we going to do?"

At first, I don't understand what he's talking about. But then I realize he means the wedding. I forget that in less than three days, Peeta and I will be married.

"I don't know." I answer. Its true, I don't. I've never wanted to marry, let alone when I'm seventeen. "I'm so scared." I whisper after a few moments. Marriage does not guarentee my safety. It helps, sure, but after the initial fuss is over in a while, they're going to be bored. I can imagine what happens then.

The rest of my life, with Peeta. Forever. This is it, then. I marry Peeta, as Snow wants. I have his children, as Snow wants. I mentor tributes year after year, praying my children won't be reaped. Knowing deep down that it was going to happen. Horror. Fear. Every day of our lives.

I hate him for it.

The train rumbles for a second, then slowly screeches to a halt. "Are we here?" I ask. The sky is so dark from the rainclouds that it's nearly impossible to make out what time of day it is. We were supposed to reach the Capitol in the morning. I guess it's the morning.

Effie opens the door without knocking, dressed in a frilly purple dress that takes up the entire doorway. "Katniss! Up up up! You have ten min- oh," she says, noticing Peeta. "Peeta, you need to go to your room and get ready." Her tone is cautious.

Peeta kisses my forehead and starts putting on his prosthetic. It makes me sad watching him, knowing I'm partly responsible for his leg being gone.

Peeta rises and leaves the room quietly, squeezing past Effie's dress. When he's gone, she gives me a warning look. "Katniss. I understand that the two of you are engaged and to be married in a few days, but imagine what would happen if word got out."

"Sorry, Effie. We'll try to be more discreet." I answer dryly. But I hope word gets out. I hope it reaches Snow.

"You have ten minutes to get dressed, then come to breakfast. I'll discuss the rest of the day with both of you then."

She leaves, shutting the door behind her. I go to the dresser, and find a shirt and some pants. My hair is a mess so I brush it and braid it hastily, just so it stays out of my face until my stylists get a hold of me.

Peeta's not there when I get to the dining car. I take a seat at the end, across from Haymitch and start picking at my eggs. Peeta enters a moment later, and sits next to me wordlessly.

"Alright. So, after breakfast, we're to be transported to the Tribute Center. Although you aren't tributes this time around, it was assumed you would be most comfortable in an area you knew. There you will meet with your stylists. This afternoon, you'll do an interview with Caesar Flickerman, and then a dinner with some of your wedding planners to go over some things. Okay?" She grins at both of us.

I look at Peeta, who has hardly eaten anything. "Are you alright?" I ask quietly, so nobody else could hear. He doesn't reply, but grabs my hand from under the table. Effie starts going on about the wedding, but I don't pay attention. When she notices Peeta and I not eating, and Haymitch asleep, we're pushed out of the train and into a car that will take us to the Tribute Center.

Peeta doesn't talk the entire way. I watch the Captiol whirl by as we drive, trying to focus on the busy day ahead of me.

When we arrive, Peeta and I are separated into our own rooms to be styled for the interview. I'm waxed, plucked, and painted with makeup until deemed decent enough by Capitol standards. Cinna isn't here, and Venia tells me he's working hard on my dress so he won't be present until the morning of the wedding. Octavia talks about how excited she is for the wedding, and I tune her out until she asks me how many kids Peeta and I are planning on having. For a brief moment, I tense up, but force myself to relax. "We haven't really talked about it," I answer as calmly as I can. "We want to spend a while with just each other."

Octavia squeaks and starts rambling again. Flavius finishes up with my hair, which has been taken out of it's braid, curled, and pinned back with silver pins. I'm dressed in a loose blue dress that falls just short of my knees and is exactly the color of Peeta's eyes. It's comfortable. At least I don't have to walk around all day in a dress like Effie's.

Since the interview doesn't start for another hour or so, I'm dragged to lunch. My appetite has returned, and I eat everything on the plate, not even paying attention to what it is I'm eating. Peeta seems to have gained a bit of an appetite as well, but still isn't eating much. He seems to be in a bit better of a mood though. We eat in a hurry, then go for a walk around the Tribute Center. Since the Games aren't for another two months, the place is empty. It's nice being alone, not having cameras trained on us or Effie barking orders. We walk hand in hand, silent, for a while. We make it back to our floor just in time. Effie literally pushes us to the elevators. My stylists fix my makeup very quickly in the elevator, fluff my hair, smooth my dress. Then we're out of the building and greeted with more cameras. People yell, trying to get our attention, but we just smile and ignore them.

The stage is set up as it normally is, with one chair for Caesar and two chairs for Peeta and I.

I watch Caesar make his entrance from back stage. Then it's our turn to make an entrance. The second we walk on stage, people are screaming and cheering. I force a smile and wave, though inwardly I really just want to be in the forest back at home, alone.

I take a seat in the chair closest to Caesar. Peeta sits down, adjusting his prosthetic a little.

"Katniss, Peeta. Great to have you back so soon! How are you?"

"We're great." Peeta says. "Everything is wonderful." He gives me a smile that makes my heart flutter a little, though I know he's acting. He's not any happier about this than I am. I take his hand, partly for show, and partly because I need the support.

Caesar sighs happily. "You two are just so perfect together. Tell me, are you excited for the wedding?"

"Of course. It'll surely be the greatest day of my life, surrounded by so many loved ones and marrying Katniss. Although, I don't think being married is going to change much. I'll love her no matter what, and to us, we already feel married."

"Is it strange, knowing that without the Hunger Games you wouldn't be here today, sitting next to your fiancee?" This question bothers me.

"I think even without the Games to bring us closer, we would have ended up together anyways." I feel him glance at me, but I don't meet his gaze. I just want this interview to be over.

"So sweet. What are your plans after the wedding? Will you be going on a honeymoon?" Caesar asks, winking at us. In Twelve, we obviously don't do this. It's a Capitol tradition I knew nothing of until it was decided by Snow that we were to be married. And as far as I know, a honeymoon has been planned for us, but the location is being kept secret.

"Yes," Peeta says. "But we haven't yet decided where to spend our honeymoon."

"Somewhere romantic! No matter where you go, it's sure to be magical." He places his hand over his heart and smiles. "How are your families handling the marriage at such a young age?"

This question actually interests me. I know my mother wasn't very happy about it, when I broke the news to her. But she realizes I don't have a choice in the matter. I don't know how Peeta's family took the news.

"My family was very excited. They've always liked Katniss." Peeta says. I know this a lie. His mother despises me.

"Katniss?"

"My mother was very excited as well. And Prim loved helping me decide on a dress and plan the wedding." This is partially a lie too. My wedding was planned for me, but Prim really was excited.

"Will your families be present at the wedding?"

"Unfortunately, my mother can't make it. The bakery needs to be looked after, but she sent her love."

"My family is coming." I say. "They'll be here tomorrow, actually." This makes me smile.

"What about your cousins?" Caesar asks? It takes me a moment to realize he's talking about Gale and his family.

"Um, no. They can't make it either." I try to leave it there, drop the subject. I don't want to think about Gale watching my wedding with another man. I know it hurts him, and I just feel guilty.

"That's a shame. Well, at least the wedding will be televised so all of Panem can enjoy it!" Caesar says excitedly. This makes me feel sick.

"What are your plans for the future? Any possibility of children?" Caesar asks with a wink. There's that question again. Suddenly I don't feel well at all.

"Well, we haven't talked about it yet, but I'm sure when we're ready we'll consider it. We're only seventeen, I want to spend time with just each other."

This answer seems to be substantial enough for Caesar, who just starts gushing about how adorable our children would be. And how proud they would be knowing both of their parents are Victors.

When I feel like I'm about to vomit, the interview ends. We are hugged and thanked and brought backstage, where I run to the nearest bathroom and throw up everything I ate for lunch.

Peeta comes in after a few minutes, as I'm rinsing out my mouth with water from the sink. "Katniss, are you okay?" He asks gently. That's when the tears start.

I'm not okay. I'm more scared than I ever have been and I can't fix it. I'm going to live like this for the rest of my life.

Peeta holds me as I cry, whispering soothing things to me even though he knows I'm inconsolable. I can't afford to cry for much longer than a minute though, because soon enough we're going to be forced back in front of cameras and televised.

I manage to compose myself somewhat. I rinse off my face, taking off most of my makeup but I don't care. I just want to leave. We walk out of the bathroom hand in hand, luckily not seen by anyone. Effie finds us and she and Haymitch escort us to the car, which will take us to the place our wedding will be held.

I struggle fighting back my tears on the ride over. I can't do this. I can't.

We arrive a few minutes later at President Snow's mansion. Suddenly I feel the urge to vomit again. Peeta must sense this, because he holds my hand tighter. It's very difficult, but I calm down a bit, for him. We're lead to a massive rose garden in the back, so full of sickeningly sweet smelling roses that it takes everything in me not to scream right then and there. I feel light headed, and it's getting harder to breathe. That's when I faint.

* * *

When I wake up, it's dark outside and I'm in my bed at the Tribute Center. For a moment, I'm confused, but immediately remember what happened earlier. I have a headache, but it's dull enough that I can ignore it. I get out of bed and notice that I'm wearing pajamas. I pull on a robe to warm the chill that is spreading across my body and walk barefoot out of my room.

Everybody is at the table eating, and most of them gasp when they see me. Effie and Octavia rush over to me and start asking me millions of questions all at once.

"Hey calm down over there, leave the poor girl alone." Haymitch yells at them with a mouth full of food. As I take a seat next to Peeta, he watches me with concern. Peeta takes both of my hands in his. "Katniss." He whispers. But we both know we can't talk here.

I don't eat, but I sit with Peeta until he finishes his food. Then we dismiss ourselves to go to bed, and nobody says a word. As soon as we reach his room, Peeta pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. I bury my face in his chest and breathe, feeling the hysteria crawling it's way back again. We just hold each other for a long time until Peeta says "You scared me today."

"I'm sorry. I am." My eyes well up.

He wipes away the tear that escapes my eye with his thumb. "I felt so helpless. All I wanted to do was make it better but I couldn't." He whispers. "I hate him. I hate him so much for doing this to you. To us."

"I don't know what to do anymore. How to feel, how to act. I'm just scared."

"Me too. Katniss, when we get back home, after things die down a bit, we can make arrangements. You can still live with your family, and we'll just pretend for the cameras like always."

"No. We can't." I reply. And I don't want to. I need his support, as much as I don't want to admit it. "Peeta, after we're married...there's no going back to how things were. For the rest of our lives we are going to be his pieces in his games." I remember that night, nearly a year ago when Peeta first said that to me. Who would have guessed he was so right in ways he could never have imagined then. "All we can do is try to be happy. And at least we have each other." I say quietly. I suddenly don't feel like talking anymore, or I'll just start crying again.

"We need some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be another difficult day." Peeta says. He leads me over to the bed and climbs under the covers. I take off my robe and do the same, curling into his warmth and falling asleep almost instantly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello readers :)**

**Here is chapter two. It's another one on the shorter side, but I promise they'll get longer once the story picks up a little. **

**I plan on updating every two or three weeks, which I know is a little long to wait and I apologize. But I have a life outside of writing fanfiction, and although I love writing I need to have a life too. **

**Constructive criticism and advice is always appreciated! And thank you to those of you who take time out of your lives to read my story and to those of you who reviewed, thank you for your advice and support!**

**Okay, on to chapter two. Enjoy :)**

* * *

It's difficult staying awake at breakfast.

My mind is occupied with the nightmares that kept both of us awake the entire night. I push my eggs around the plate with my fork, absentmindedly. Peeta has his eyes closed and is resting his head in his hands. It'll be a miracle if we last the entire day.

"Well you two look awful. Rough night?" Haymitch asks, taking a swig of whatever alcohol is in his glass. He doesn't wait to hear our reply, he already knows the answer. "You better keep yourselves awake, it's going to be another _big, big day!" _Haymitch says, mocking Effie. The look on her face proves she is not amused. "Your prep teams will be here in an hour, so it would be best if you freshened up a little before they arrive." She says as she adjusts her makeup.

We shower in our separate rooms. I set the coldest temperature I can, which does an effective job of waking me up. It clears my head and allows me to focus a bit more on the day ahead of me.

When I start shivering, I step out of the shower and dry off. I spend a moment looking at myself in the mirror. My hair hasn't been cut in a long time, and is nealy to my waist. I'm thin, but I have gained a little weight that I think makes me look healthier. But as I look at my own face, I see the mess of a person I have become. The dark circles under my eyes. The tortured, sad look in my gaze. My lips form a permanent frown.

As I am brushing through my hair, there is a knock on the door. I don't say anything, so my prep team barges in anyways. They don't even seem to notice that I am naked. My body isn't much interest to any of them this time anyways, since I was waxed yesteday. Venia finishes brushing out my hair and Octavia files my nails and paints them gold. Flavius does my makeup quickly, which is subtle and mostly put there to cover the dark circles under my eyes. My excitement for the overall lack of prep is quickly diminished when I am reminded that I will be caked in makeup tomorrow.

I'm dressed simply, in just a green sweater and some pants. Effie comes in to give me a letter from the wedding planners, who assure me that my wedding will be "lovely", and hope I get better.

After prep, Peeta and I are rushed to the Capitol train station to greet our families. It's televised of course, so we are careful about what we say and are very brief. My mother hugs me quickly, and I can feel her hands shaking but she covers it up well. Prim smiles and waves at the cameras, and I can't help but think she'd be a better Victor than me. The Capitol adores her.

Our families will stay at the president's mansion tonight as well, so it is easier to prepare for tomorrow. I'm sure I will be put through hours of prep before I look like a bride. The only thing I look forward to is seeing Cinna. I wonder which dress he's been working on. I haven't been told which one has been decided on by the Capitol. Though I don't like any of them much anyways.

We are transported directly to Snow's mansion. I'm shaking, remembering yesterday. Even the thought of those roses makes my dizzy again. Prim grabs my hand. "Tomorrow is going to be amazing, I'm sure of it." She says. Since I know she's making an effort to cheer me up, I say, "I hope so."

President Snow greets us himself as we step inside his house. It doesn't seem like a house, and it's easy to forget it is. There must be a hundred bedrooms in this place. I wonder what a person like Snow would do with all this space.

Snow's attendants show us separately to our individual rooms, where we will get ready for a rehearsal wedding. I realize that Peeta and I will be separated tonight and I feel dread.

My prep team fixes my hair and adjusts my makeup briefly, but since the rehearsal won't be televised, there isn't much need to do anything. I'm told to change into a white dress, which isn't my wedding dress but will help me prepare for wearing it tomorrow.

I'm escorted to the garden again, and force myself to stay calm. Still, I feel relieved when Peeta takes my hand. "Are you going to be okay?" His eyes are full of worry. I give a slight nod. I have to stay calm, for Peeta.

Peeta and I are lead to the center of the garden, where the wedding will take place. There is a walkway that leads to an arch, and what seems like a hundred chairs. I don't see any roses besides the rose bushes that form a large square around the center of the garden, which helps calm me down a little. My mother and Prim sit in the front row of the chairs closest to the arch. Peeta's brothers sit beside them.

"Where's your father?" I ask Peeta. I didn't see him at the train station either, but I was focused on my family, not his. His expression grows sad.

"He couldn't come. Too much at the bakery." He says. I realize Peeta's mother probably wouldn't let him go. Peeta smiles. "Have you met my brothers yet?"

"No," I say. "I don't think I have."

"Well come on then." Peeta leads me over to the chairs where Peeta's brothers are sitting. I try to be happy, because I know Peeta wants me to be welcomed in his family.

"Katniss, these are my brothers, Graham and Rye." Peeta announces. They stand up and Graham shakes my hand. "Should I bow, or is only Peeta allowed to worship you?" Graham says. He laughs and winks at Peeta. "Sorry, Muffin. Just teasing you."

Peeta chuckles. "I'm too old to be called Muffin. I'll be a married man tomorrow."

"Yeah, but you'll still always be my little Muffin." Graham lightly punches Peeta in the shoulder. I make note to ask Peeta about his nickname later.

Rye shakes my hand and gives me a slight smile. "Nice to meet you, Katniss."

"Oh lighten up a little, Rye. She isn't going to bite. Shoot you in the face, maybe, but not bite." Graham says. Rye seems even more shy and timid than Peeta was when we first officially met.

"It's nice meeting you too, both of you." I say. I see Peeta's shoulders relax and he grins. I try to focus on making Peeta happy, because although he didn't want it to happen this way, he does want to marry me.

Effie calls me back to the end of the aisle and smooths my hair and clothes. Peeta is told to stand in the arch by himself while I walk down the aisle. This entire thing makes no sense to me, why I have to walk a certain way and not too fast or too slow. Effie shows me how to walk properly, in tune with the music. She pushes my chin up higher and tells me to keep eye contact with Peeta. I listen as best as I can, but my exhaustion is creeping up on me again and it's hard to keep my brain concentrated. Typically in the Capitol, the bride is led down the aisle by her father. Since my father is dead, I'll be walking alone. My mother takes on a new expression as she watches me walk up and down the aisle. No doubt she is remembering a time, back in District 12, when she married my father. Although weddings in 12 are nothing like weddings in the Capitol.

After a few hours of rehearsal, we are escorted to a dining hall where we are told a small dinner will take place. To my relief, we are informed that President Snow is a feeling a little unwell and will be unable to attend the dinner as planned. I breathe a sigh of relief, avoiding him brightens my evening.

We are served a chicken stew over rice with bread rolls. It's simple by Capitol standards, but Peeta's brothers are awestruck. I remind myself that although they grew up in the merchant class, food like this is a luxury. They eat at least three servings, which is entertaining Haymitch. He and Graham go back and forth the entire meal, making jokes and teasing Peeta. Effie scolds both of them for being childish, but eventually just gives up. Peeta's laughing so hard his face has turned a deep shade of red, and even my mother is smiling. It's bizarre how in conditions like this people can still be happy. The thought makes me smile a little.

We are escorted back to our rooms in Snow's mansion after we finish our dinner. Graham and Rye are ecstatic, they've never had their own beds before. Haymitch goes to his room without question, lugging a bottle of liquor. Effie makes a fuss over schedules, and tells us all to wake up early. She gives Peeta and I a warning look when we both automatically start walking to my room. Peeta blushes and apologizes to Effie. He kisses my cheek. "I'll see you soon, Katniss." He doesn't say goodnight becaused he and I both know it won't be. I feel my stomach sink as he walks into his room. A night without Peeta is a night without sleep.

My mother and Prim embrace me. "We'll see you in the morning." Prim says. She smiles at me, and then she goes to her room. My mother lingers for a moment longer though.

"Katniss," she says quietly. "I want you to know that although everything changes tomorrow, you can still be happy. I know you're in good hands with Peeta. I see how much he loves you. And Prim and I love you very much. I know I haven't been the best mother the last few years. I know you can't forgive me. But I'm here for you. I won't leave you again."

Before I can reply, she hugs me again and walks to her room quickly. I pretend to not hear her cry as soon as she shuts the door behind her.

I'm left alone in the hallway, feeling terrible and afraid. I go to my room and change into a nightgown left out on my bed. As I climb under the covers, a tear rolls down my cheek. I allow myself to silently cry. There will be no tears tomorrow. I must keep it together for my family. But tonight, I will mourn the loss of my few pieces of freedom. Because now, even my freedom to choose who or if I marry is dead. And soon, my freedom to choose whether or not I have children is gone too.

It must be an hour later when the doorknob twists and Peeta walks in. I feel a surge of relief seeing him. "You're still awake?" He says quietly. He peels the covers open and climbs in bed.

"Of course." I whisper. "I was scared you wouldn't come." I turn to face him and prop myself up on my elbow. It's dark, but I can just make out his face.

"I just had to wait until I was sure Effie wasn't watching."

"I couldn't sleep." I whisper. I don't tell him it's because he wasn't here.

"I couldn't either. I can't." He says. "I don't know what we're going to do Katniss. I feel so guilty for this. Like it's my fault. I'm taking you away from a future that you've always wanted."

"This isn't your fault, Peeta. Don't feel guilty. Please."

"But I can't help it, Katniss. I know you don't love me-"

"Peeta-" I cut in.

"Katniss, it's okay. Really. I've accepted it. But I still feel like I've stolen something that should be yours. Your happiness. Your ability to love who you want. And I want to say I'm sorry." My heart feels heavy as he speaks.

"Peeta, none of this is your fault. It's Snow's. Please, please don't feel like you did this." I want to hold him and tell him it's going to be okay, that someday I could love him the way he loves me. But I don't want to promise him things that may never happen. So instead, I kiss him.

It's our first real kiss that hasn't been televised and is just for us. He is surprised, at first. But then he's kissing me back. A warm feeling spreads through me, filling me with comfort. I allow myself to get lost in the feeling, savoring it. I move so that my body is pressed against his, my hands on his chest. After a few moments, we pull apart. He rests his forehead against mine and breathes in, slowly. Then he pulls away and smiles at me. I smile back, the feeling of happiness I felt earlier is fading but still there. "Was that the first time you've ever kissed me for real? Not for the cameras?" His expression is elated, hopeful. When I nod, he smiles at me again and pulls me into his side. I curl up, resting my head between his neck and his shoulder. I let the feeling of happiness stay until it melts away, and the sadness I felt earlier returns. But I make an effort to sleep anyways. I stay strong. I have to. By this time tomorrow, I'll be Katniss Mellark. But for now, I'm Katniss Everdeen. The girl on fire.

And my fire is going to burn on, through the pain. Through every thing that it thrown at me.

Always.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello readers!**

**Anyone else currently angry about the drama surrounding the Mockingjay trailer? I am. I JUST WANT TO SEE IT, DANG IT. Seriously, I don't understand why they don't just put it online so that us fans that didn't go to Comic Con and are without a Samsung device can actually watch it. **

**Oh well.**

**Alright, here is chapter three. It's wedding time. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I'm getting married in three hours.

I'm reminded by Effie every couple of minutes as everyone frantically runs around to prepare, while I soak in the tub. My prep team lays out makeup on the vanity that's been put in my room. There is so much that the entire vanity is covered, and I groan at the thought of having to be covered in the stuff for the duration of the entire day.

I'm exhausted and I've only been awake for a couple of hours. But I remind myself that Cinna will be here any minute, and I try to focus on that to keep myself alert.

My mother and Prim are brought in after a while, so they can get prepped as well. We're brought muffins and fruit to snack on since there won't be a formal breakfast. My stomach growls when I see the display, and I choose to eat a particularly delicious muffin that tastes like strawberries and chocolate.

Prim is sampling all of the fruit, since she's never had most of it. My mother doesn't seem to have an appetite. She picks at a muffin, but doesn't eat more than a few bites. I wonder if she is going to be able to keep it together today. I wonder if anyone is going to be able to.

My mother is told to sit at the vanity and my prep team begins working on her hair and makeup. Octavia tries to start up conversations, but after a few attempts it's obvious my mother doesn't feel like talking. Everyone is silent after that.

Prim takes a seat on my bed and I sit behind her, brushing out her hair. We did this a lot when we were younger, taking turns brushing and styling our hair in front of the fireplace in our house in the Seam. Our father would hum love songs as he and my mother cooked dinner. That seems like an entire lifetime ago, when in reality it's only been years.

Cinna arrives a moment later, hauling a massive black bag which I assume contains my wedding dress. He hangs the dress on the door and embraces me. "I'm sorry I'm late, I made a few changes to the dress. Would you like to see it?" He asks me. I nod, curious to see which dress the Capitol chose and what Cinna has spent so long working on.

He zips open the bag and pulls out an enormous dress. My eyes widen at the sight of it. The bottom is massive, covering at least four or five feet in diameter. It's the first dress I tried on, and the one of my least favorite dresses. It's lacey and cream colored, with a tight bodice and long lace sleeves. I remember how uncomfortable this one was and mentally scowl, but outwardly I smile because I know Cinna worked hard on it.

I watch as Prim is styled. Unlike me, she doesn't make a fuss and even jokes with my prep team. Flavius curls her hair into long blonde ringlets, half pinned back with silver pins. Since she's young, her makeup is minimal and very subtle. When they finish, I can't help but smile at how beautiful she looks and how much she has grown up in the last year and a half. She thanks my stylists and goes to my mother, who is sitting on my bed and watching me.

I'm placed in the chair and Effie leaves to check on the boys. Cinna brushes my hair and Flavius removes the left over gold nail polish from a couple of days ago. He paints my nails a rosie pink this time. Venia starts tweezing my eyebrows. It doesn't sting as much as it used to, and I barely flinch anymore. Octavia is bursting with energy as she and Venia start putting makeup on me.

"Oh Katniss! You're going to be so beautiful. Peeta is a very lucky boy to have you. And to think you're marrying him today! I'm going to need tissues. Venia, do you have more of that waterproof makeup? I may need some. Oh, my! Isn't this just all so exciting?"

I don't say anything because no, it isn't exciting. It's horrifying. Cinna meets my gaze in the mirror and gives me a half smile. He understands my emotions today. And I feel grateful to have him here to support me.

My mother and Prim have to leave about an hour into my makeover to dress for the wedding. I won't see them until I'm actually married, I realize. They promise to see me soon and then they're gone.

As soon as my makeup is done, I'm stripped of my bathrobe and my prep team goes around my body with tweezers to remove every last hair. Since I was waxed not long ago, there isn't much hair and they quickly finish. I'm redressed into my robe and sat back in the chair, and Cinna begins curling my hair. With nothing left to do, my prep team is dismissed to prepare themselves for the wedding. It's just me and Cinna left in the room, and the silence is calming. We don't speak until my hair is finished, and I take a good look at my reflection.

My face is painted almost beyond recognition. My eyebrows have been darkened. My eyelashes are long and thick. By Capitol standards, I'm beautiful. But to me, I look fake. Nothing like I want to look on my wedding day.

Effie pops in to remind us that the wedding is now in thirty minutes. My heart begins to race and feel almost the same as I did before the Games last year. Thirty minutes to launch.

Cinna unzips the bag again and pulls out my dress. I take a deep breath. I take off my robe again and step into the dress, shoving my arms into the sleeves. It settles on my shoulders, and I shift uncomfortably with the added weight. "I don't remember it being this heavy." I say as I step into my shoes. It's going to be difficult staying balanced between the weight of the dress and the height of the heels on my shoes.

"I made some changes." Is all he says. He zips the back of my dress up and fixes my hair. "There, you're all set. Are you ready?" I shake my head. No, I'm not ready. I can't do this. But I have to.

"Just remember deep breaths. And smile, don't forget to smile." I nod, soaking in his advice.

"And Katniss," he says. "Be careful not to turn too suddenly. Because of the alterations I made to the dress, it may cause some problems. Save the twirling for your first dance with Peeta."

I'm confused, but I agree anyways. I can trust Cinna.

Effie comes in a moment later to tell me that it's time. Cinna leaves to sit in the crowd, and Effie leads me downstairs to the back of Snow's mansion. She makes a fuss with my hair, fluffing it and twisting the pieces where the curls have come loose. Then she hands me a bouquet of pale pink roses, tied with a lace ribbon to match my dress. My heart starts to race and suddenly I'm not sure if I can do this. I lower the bouquet so that I can breathe without inhaling the sickeningly sweet scent of roses. I follow Cinna's advice and take a few deep breaths.

Effie goes through what I am supposed to do again as we walk to the garden. I try to pay attention to her, but it's hard. In a matter of seconds I'm at center of the garden, standing before a long aisle. Effie smooths my hair again. "You'll do fine, Katniss." She says, tearing up. Then she gives me a little push and the music starts playing.

I do as I was told, walking in rhythym with the music and keeping my eyes on Peeta. Everyone turns and stands when they see me coming but I don't look at them as I pass by. Deep breaths. Eye contact with Peeta. Breathe. Peeta smiles when I get closer, and my heart flutters. I'm filled with relief at the sight of him. At least I'll have Peeta.

Finally, I'm standing under the arch. I put my bouquet gently on the floor and Peeta takes my shaking hands. The music goes on for a few more moments, so Peeta takes the chance to whisper, "You look beautiful, Katniss." I smile at him and we turn to the officiant. He has bright orange skin and red hair that looks like fire. The crowd falls silent.

I feel a wave of horror wash over me, sending shivers down my spine. I focus on my breathing. My ears are ringing so terribly loud that I can't hear what the officiant is saying until Peeta says

"I do." I take a deep breath.

"Katniss Everdeen, do you take Peeta Mellark to be your lawfully wedded husband, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to be there for him in times of need, to soothe him in times of pain, and to support him in all endeavors, big and small?"

This is really happening. "I do." I say, my voice shaking. I feel sick. The officiant is talking again but I don't listen to him. Peeta slips a ring on my finger, a golden band. I do the same, pushing an identical ring onto his finger. I can hear people crying in the crowd.

"You may now kiss your bride." The officiant says, and the crowd erupts in applause as Peeta pulls me closer to him and kisses me gently. It's full of lipstick and the smell of roses and it lasts only a few seconds before its over. He pulls away, grabbing my hands again and smiling at me. Because I know Peeta wants me to be happy too, I smile back. Everyone is still clapping as Peeta and I walk hand in hand down the aisle. I only catch a glimpse of my mother and Prim before they are hidden by rose bushes.

Peeta and I walk back to Snow's mansion. We have a little while before the photo shoot, so we wait in a little corner by the edge of the garden. Peeta laces our fingers together and tries to meet my gaze but I feel like crying so I stare at bottom of my dress instead. I feel his hand press against the small of my back and he tugs me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold tight. "We'll make this work, okay?" He says quietly into my ear. No doubt this entire place is bugged. "Okay." I say. I blink back tears and take another deep breath.

It isn't long before we're found by Effie, who scolds us for running off "when there is so much to be done!" She leads us back inside the mansion so my prep team can touch up my makeup.

Octavia wasn't kidding when she said she'd be crying at my wedding. Even now, after the matter, she keeps wiping her tears with a tissue. Peeta sits on a nearby sofa. Since he doesn't have to wear makeup, he gets to watch as I am repainted.

It doesn't take more than a few minutes, and in no time Peeta and I are being lead by Effie to the center of the garden again. Various lights and cameras have been set up and we're told to pose and smile at least a dozen times as the camera snaps pictues. The sun is beginning to set now, which Effie says will make the pictures even more romantic and lovely.

While the rest of the guests have gone to the reception, our families have stayed behind to take pictures with me and Peeta. My mother manages a small smile just as the cameras flash one last time. I pretend not to notice when a single tear slides down her cheek.

After we wrap up the photo shoot, Effie leads us to the hall where the reception will be held. It's easy to forget how big Snow's mansion is. We wind through countless hallways, libraries, and sitting rooms before we arrive before the doors of the banquet hall. Our families enter first. Peeta grabs my hand and we compose ourselves as the Avoxes open the doors to let us in.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Mellark!" An announcer says. Immediately we are greeted with a roar of applause. I put on the brightest smile I can manage and wave to the sea of people. Music is playing, but I can barely hear it all of the noise our presence has caused. We nudge our way through the crowd, shaking hands and greeting the total strangers that have come to our wedding.

"This looks familiar." Peeta jokes quietly. Neither of us laugh. The last time we were here was less than enjoyable. I pick out some familiar faces from within the crowd, but most are total strangers. I wonder how they even got in, highest bidder gets to see the star crossed lovers' wedding?

A dance floor has been laid out in the middle of the room. The lighting changes so that only dance floor is lit. Peeta guides me to the center, where we will have our first dance. Music starts playing and I feel sick with all of these people watching me. We dance slowly, pretending there is nobody watching us when in reality I can feel every set of eyes on me.

As the song comes to a close, Peeta begins to twirl me around. I wonder if Cinna had told him to do this. Suddenly smoke is everywhere and I can barely see but I know Cinna is behind this so I keep spinning. Flames lick the edge of my dress, slowly climbing up and engulfing me in fire. It doesn't burn me. Then, it's over. I open my eyes and stop spinning, trying to keep my balance. Peeta catches me just as I loose my footing, but it looks staged. My vision is steadier now, and I see the reactions of the people around me. There is a moment of dead silence, then screaming and cheering. I look down at my dress and see that it has transformed into a long, flowy black dress. The crowd loves it, and the announcer is congradulating Cinna on his achievement.

Everyone begins sitting around at the tables, so Peeta and I go to the long table in the back. It is the same color that my wedding dress was before it changed, cream with pink roses. We sit in the center two chairs. Prim and my mother sit beside me, and Peeta's brothers sit beside him.

Food is brought out, much to my relief. I'm starving. We're served a salad and slices of buttered bread. Wine is delivered to those who want it, and I glance over to Haymitch whose on his fourth glass. I accept a glass of wine, I need something to calm my nerves.

While I munch on some bread, people stand and make toasts to Peeta and I, wishing us a long, healthy and happy marriage. I smile and thank them, sipping on my wine. I feel all eyes on me again and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like being the center of attention, even at my own wedding.

After at least twenty more toasts, the main course is brought out. I am excited when I see that it is my favorite, lamb stew with plums over rice. I eat my entire plate before Peeta has eaten half.

"Wow Peeta, your woman can eat." Graham says, winking at me. I pretend to not notice.

Prim and my mother are very silent. They both pick at their food, obviously lacking an appetite. "When do you come back home, Katniss?" Prim asks me. We all leave tonight, our families are going back to 12 and Peeta and I are going on our honeymoon.

"In a couple of weeks. Then you'll be stuck with me again." I tease. I realize I'm wrong as soon as I say it, because I'll be living with Peeta. My heart sinks a little.

I eat until I can't any more. I'm one of the first people finished eating though, so I just sit quietly and wait. Peeta takes my hand from under the table and leans in close to me.

"Look at the table to your right. That lady's hat looks like a chicken." He whispers in my ear. I glance over to the table just a few feet away from me. I see it almost immediately and let out a laugh. Peeta starts laughing too and we make an effort to quiet ourselves before we draw attention. I cover my mouth in attempt to mute my laughter.

Suddenly someone taps on their glass to make a toast, but I can't make out who. I thought everyone had finished with that. I focus my eyes on the figure and just make out the face of President Snow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello readers :) **

**This chapter is a bit early, but I doubt anybody will mind. Thank you so much to those of you who take the time out of your lives to read my story. I appreciate it! Review and let me know what you think, or provide me with some constructive criticism. **

**Enjoy! **

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"I would like to congradulate the two of you on your marriage. May your lives be filled with the love you share. And as the wedding is coming to a close, I have a special announcement to make." Snow says. I didn't even realize he came to the reception, Snow's never been one for parties. "As a token of my admiration for your persistance and strength, I have arranged for you to spend your first two weeks as a couple here in the Capitol." Everyone whistles and cheers as if this is the most generous thing in the world, and Peeta squeezes my hand because he knows what's coming. My heart drums in horror and I feel sick again. I force myself to breath, I can't do this here.

All laughter from a moment ago is gone, replaced by the misery that is taking me over. I hoped our honeymoon could be in District 12. Or even in another district, like 4, that has the beach.

Like I've been doing all day, I bury my pain and cover it with a smile which I hope looks genuine and not like I'm plotting Snow's death. At the moment, the thought brings me pleasure.

We thank Snow, and Peeta says he is excited to spend it here in the Capitol, and that it is very generous and kind to allow us to stay here for so long. He's a good actor, really. But I can see in his eyes that he is upset too.

An enormous cake is wheeled out, and immediately all of the Mellark boys are fascinated. It has twelve layers, and is white with pink frosting roses and little edible pearls. It's tradition here in the Capitol for the bride and groom to cut the first slice of cake, so Peeta and I grab the knife provided and slice a piece of cake for us to share, since I feel too full and too nauseous to eat my own slice.

We don't bother sitting down at our table again. We eat our cake standing up, and Peeta can't stop laughing at Graham and Rye who eat at least three pieces each. Even my mother is smiling. Peeta eats the last bite and takes our plate and forks to the trash.

While he's gone, I poke Prim in the belly. I need something to get my mind off of the misery of today. "Let's go dance, little duck." She giggles and takes my hand. We skip to the dance floor, which attracts quite a bit of attention but I don't care. We dance as obnoxiously as possible, laughing and joking. We often bump into the people around us, who laugh it off and apologize for being in our way.

I see Peeta talking with my mother in the corner as Graham eats a fourth piece of cake. I wonder what he's saying, but by the look on my mother's face it must be something sweet.

The song comes to a close, so Prim and I bow to each other, bumping our heads together in the process which brings even more attention to us. People laugh and clap. We walk back to our mother who smiles and opens her arms for a hug. Both of us hug her tightly, like we did when we were young.

"When I get back home, we'll make things as normal as possible. I promise." I say.

The party comes to a close rather quickly, which I'm grateful for. People thank Peeta and I for everything, which I find funny because we aren't responsible for any of this. Everything publicized since the Games has been planned for us and practically scripted. Nothing we want.

Finally, Effie's guiding us out of the banquet hall and escorting us to a car. I get in first, followed immediately by Peeta. I watch out the window as our families get into another car. I'm reminded that now, since we aren't actually leaving to go on our honeymoon, we won't be able to say our goodbyes at the train station.

I keep feeling worse the more I think about it, so after their car turns around and leaves I lean my head on Peeta's shoulder and feel his arm snake behind my back and around my waist. I'm grateful I 'm not alone. That I have him. That although not now, Peeta wanted to marry me and that this makes him happy. This is what I have to remind myself. After everything, at least Peeta can be happy. So for him, I try to be too.

In some way, I am happy. I've never wanted to marry or have children, but at least I married someone who loves me. At least I know Peeta will always be there. Part of me is happy that I can sleep beside him every night and fight away our nightmares. Part of me is happy that Peeta is mine.

But part of me feels guilty. I don't know what feelings I have for him. In some way, I feel like I'm using him. And soon, we will be expected to be parents. As soon as everyone forgets that we are only sixteen and seventeen.

The car slows down and comes to a stop in front of a tall building. It's dark outside, and difficult to see. Effie takes us inside and into an elevator.

"Alright. Now, here is your key in case you want to leave your suite any time. Your suite is on the top floor. Cinna and Portia have provided two weeks worth of clothes for you. You should have everything you need. There's a phone on the wall there, call if there is an emergency. I have my number programmed in. But most importantly, enjoy this." Her eyes well up. "Oh, you two are so grown up. And married!" She squeals, pulling both of us into an embrace. The elevator stops and the doors open to reveal a living room. "You have an entire floor to yourselves, so you'll need the key to use the elevator. It only takes you to this floor."

"Thank you Effie. For everything tonight." Peeta says.

"Oh, anything for my little Victors." She hugs us each again and steps back into the elevator.

"Have fun you two!" She says as the doors shut.

I turn around and take a look at the room surrounding me. Everything is white, including the furniture and the flowers that sit delicately in little vases. I walk around, and find a pristine kitchen fully stocked with food. I walk down the hallway and find a door.

"I'm guessing this is our room." I say and I push open the door.

The first thing I notice is the rose petals that are everywhere. Immediately, I gasp, stepping back and into Peeta. He grabs my arms and I turn around. I need to leave. I can't stay here.

Peeta sees the roses and pulls me into his arms. I bury my face into his chest to block out the smell and my rising hysteria. Every emotion I've had to bury today seems to want to make a reappearance.

He takes me back to the living room. "Stay here, I'll go clean up the roses and get you something to change into." I nod, sitting on the sofa. Breathe, Katniss, breathe.

I take off my shoes curl into the plush cushions, trying to steady my breathing. I can't explode here and now. I can't do that to Peeta.

It feels like years before I calm myself down. It feels like another hour before Peeta comes back out with a pile of neatly folded clothes in his hands.

"I got every last one of them out, and opened all of the windows for good measure." Peeta says, setting the clothes on the coffee table. I don't feel like getting up, so I don't. He sits on the coffee table and coaxes me into releasing my death grip on my arms. I realize I'm shivering despite the fact it's warm in here. "Katniss?" Peeta whispers.

I force myself to meet his gaze and see he is worried. No, more than worried, scared.

"Thank you." I whisper back. He looks so broken that it makes me feel worse. I sit up and pick up the clothes he set on the table. "I'll just go change." He nods, watching me as I get up and walk away.

The bedroom feels much cooler than the rest of the place. I look at it for a moment, not a single petal in sight. I gently shut the bedroom door and step out of my dress. I lay it carefully on the dresser. It's one of the most beautiful dresses Cinna has designed, and I'd hate to ruin it. I pull on the thick blue nightgown Peeta has gotten for me and silently walk around the room in seach for the bathroom. I find it quickly and enter, leaving the door open as I brush my teeth and wipe all of the makeup off of my face.

A moment later, I hear a quiet knock on the bedroom door. "You can come in." I say, as I comb through my hair with my fingers. Peeta opens the door and comes in, finding me in the bathroom. I finish combing my hair and step out.

"You're still wearing your suit." I point out. He looks down, as if he's just noticing.

"I should change." he says. He opens the dresser and pulls out some clothes, slipping into the bathroom.

I pull open the covers on the bed and climb under them, sinking into the mattress. It's softer than my bed at home. I want to sleep, and it would be easy, but I don't want to fall asleep without Peeta. So I wait until he comes out of the bathroom just a moment later, dressed in pajamas. He removes his prosthetic, and I watch his back until he leans the prosthetic against the nightstand and adjusts himself in bed so that he is facing me. "Goodnight, Katniss." He whispers, pressing his lips just barely to my forehead.

"Goodnight." I whisper back. I snuggle into his warmth and fall asleep almost instantly.

That night, the nightmares begin.

I'm running in the woods back in 12, following the screams of a child. Trees burst into flame around me and the smoke is so thick I can hardly see. I'm choking on the hot air but I can't give up. Finally I reach the source of the screams. A little girl, no older than three, with curly brown hair and bright blue eyes. "Mama!" She squeals, reaching up her arms to me. I bend down to pick the little girl up, to get her out of here, and that's when the tree to our right explodes.

I wake up screaming.

Peeta shoots up straight, pulling me into my arms and holding me tightly. I start to sob, guilt crushing me. I know it's a dream. But it felt so horrifying real. "I couldn't save her." I choke out. Peeta strokes my hair and whispers soothing things in my ear. "Prim's okay, it was just a dream, Katniss."

"It wasn't Prim." I whisper. Horror sets in as I realize who the child was. _Whose _child it was. "It was our baby."

"We don't have a baby, Katniss."

"But we will. Snow will make us."

"Everything will be okay, Katniss. Go back to sleep." He knows there is no sense in prying me off of him, so instead he lies down and pulls me with him. I bury my face in his chest and he kisses my hair. After a few more minutes, I hear his breathing slow. He's asleep.

It's a long time before I fall asleep too.

These nightmares continue every night. Always the same dream. And Peeta always soothes me back to sleep, and I wake up to a new day feeling terrible. Which just means Peeta will do anything to make me better again.

One morning, six days into our honeymoon, I feel particularly miserable for a reason I can't quite place. I guess absurd, though, that I feel anything but misery after last night's hellish nightmares that kept both of us awake nearly the entire night. I'm sitting on the couch sipping some tea when Peeta says, "Do you want to bake with me today?".

"Okay." I say. "But you'll have to teach me."

"Of course." Peeta says, grinning at me. He stands up and offers me his hand. We walk into the kitchen, which is huge. Peeta lays out a bunch of ingredients and grabs a bowl from the cupboard. "I think we should make cheese buns." He gives me a smile so sweet it makes me want to hug him.

"You know me well." I smile back, turning my attention to the task ahead.

"Okay flour first." He says, pouring in flour.

"How do you know how much to put in without even measuring it?" I ask.

"I've made these countless times. You just memorize it I guess. Milk and butter go in that bowl." He points to a bowl in front of me, and tells me how much of each to put in.

After a while, while he's kneading the bread, I can't help but stare at him.

"What?" He asks, without even looking up. I smile.

"I just like watching you when you bake. You take on a whole new expression. You just seem so happy and focused." I say. He stops kneading and looks at me, a half-smile tugging at his lips.

"I'm only like this when I'm with you. Baking is just a job back at home."

He rolls the bread into balls and tops them with a generous coating of cheese. Then he places them in the oven and washes his hands in the sink. "Now what?" I say, pulling myself up so that I can sit on the counter.

"Now we wait." He says, drying his hands and walking over to me. He leans against the counter and smiles at me again, that sweet, loving smile that makes my heart flutter a little. I take a pinch of flour that was on the counter and throw it at him, hitting his cheek. He mock gasps and picks up his own handful of flour. I shriek and hop off of the counter, running from him. He throws it just in time, hitting me square in the face. I wipe the majority of it off and laugh. He starts laughing too, and I seize the opportunity to grab the entire back of flour and dart away. Peeta chases after me, and I realize I'm trapped in a corner so I hold the bag over my head in hopes he can't reach it. He gets closer, only a couple of inches from my face. "No way I'm letting you win." He says.

"Oh really?" I say. My gaze drops to his lips just before I close the distance between us and kiss him. We haven't kissed since the wedding, and I didn't realize that I missed the feeling of his lips on mine. Peeta seems to have completely forgotten the flour above me. He presses his hands to my face and pulls me even closer to him. I smile into the kiss as I pour the remains of the bag of flour over his head. His surprise is rewarding and he pulls away from the kiss. I grin at him and he shakes his head, laughing. "That was a smooth move." He jokes. He takes his hand and runs it through his hair, pushing most of the flour onto the floor. Then he smears his flour covered hand onto my face, and before I can protest, kisses me again. This time I focus my full attention on kissing him and not sabotaging him. I have to tell myself it's okay to enjoy this. I can't allow Gale to fill me with guilt at just the thought of him any more. There will never be a possibility of being with him, even if I wanted that. So I decide that even if I can't figure out my feelings for Peeta now, I can allow myself to be happy with him.

My arms wind around his neck, and his hands press the small of my back to his body. A warm feeling slides through my body again, taking over. We stay like that, pressed up against the wall for a long moment before the oven beeps, indicating the cheese buns have finished baking.

Peeta groans and pulls away slowly, kissing the tip of my nose before turning and opening the oven. Instantly I my nose is met with a heavenly aroma. My stomach growls and my mouth waters at the thought of those delicious cheese buns. Peeta laughs when he sees my expression. "They are a little hot, we need to let them cool for a little while." He says.

I scowl, which only forces him to laugh harder.

"I can't take you seriously when you are covered in flour." I joke.

"Really? It seemed pretty serious a moment ago." Peeta teases back. The blush that covers my cheeks only seems to satisfy him more.

"I'm going to go take a shower, and rinse off this mess. When I get out though, I'm eating those cheese buns."

"They'll be waiting here." Peeta says, shaking his head and chuckling to himself.

I smile as I walk to the bathroom. I shut the door gently behind me and look at myself in the mirror. White splotches of flour cover my body, but they do little to hide my pink cheeks. My lips are red and swollen from all of that kissing. I look happy, or at least, happier than I've been recently. And it fills me with comfort.

I take a fast shower, mostly just focusing on rinsing out the flour. I dry off and dress into some new clothes before heading back to the kitchen.

"That was fast." Peeta says. He's eating a cheese bun.

"I had cheese buns waiting for me." I reply. He hands me one and I bite into it, it's still warm and so delicious that I practically inhale it.

"Well, I think I need to take a shower." Peeta says, brushing his hands off on his pants. He walks to the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on.

I grab another cheese bun and take it with me to the couch. Since I can't hunt here in the Capitol, I've had to find other ways to occupy my time. Peeta and I decided early on that we should try to avoid leaving this place in case we get swarmed by people. However, I'm beginning to feel cooped up and trapped and I don't like it. I just want to be home, not here.

One hand is shoving a cheese bun into my mouth while the other finds the remote. I turn on the television, and leave it on the channel it's on. After a minute of watching it, I realize it's the news channel. I don't pay much attention, I just stare out the window and watch the snowflakes fall.

Peeta comes out a few minutes later and starts cleaning the kitchen. I get up and grab a broom to start sweeping. We are working in silence, almost done with cleaning when I hear something on the television.

"As everyone in Panem knows, last year's victors from District 12 tied the knot last week at a romantic wedding here in the Capitol. Rumors surfaced not long after that the reason the star crossed lovers got married so young and so soon wasn't just due to their sudden romance in the Games. Some think our very own Katniss could have a bun in the oven. Could Katniss be pregnant? Tune in after the break for more."

I drop the broom from my hand and look at Peeta. He looks at me, surprised. "It's just a rumor, nobody would believe it, right?" Peeta says.

"I don't know. Peeta, we've been married for a few days and they're already expecting a baby."

"Well we can come forward and tell the truth, that you're not pregnant." Peeta says.

He's right, it is just a rumor that could easily be cleared up. But what's to come in a few months? A year? If they're already expecting a baby after a few days, what will they want later?

I lean against the wall and close my eyes. "I don't know what to do." I say quietly.

"I'm sick of this. I'm so sick of having to throw away my life just to please others and not ourselves." Peeta says. He's angry. He goes to the living room and shuts the television off.

Afterwards, we both decide to leave it off and forget it ever happened.

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**(I just wanted to let you know that I do realize when baking bread, one must allow the dough to rise before actually baking it. However, for the sake of the story, I left this part out. I apologize if this bothers some of you detail-obsessed people) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been so long. This chapter is a bit of a filler, I didn't want to skip around too much just yet. **

**Chapter 6 will be up soon. **

**Again, thank you all who take the time out of your lives to read my story and review. I really appreciate it! :)****  
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**As always, happy reading!**

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A week into our honeymoon, we're bored out of our minds. Peeta's baked an entire bakery's worth of bread and cookies and pastries. I've helped him, but I like watching him more than I like actually baking.

Peeta's in the middle of baking another batch of cookies when he realizes we are completely out of sugar and running low on flour. It's me who suggests we leave to go get some. He doesn't argue. I'm feeling like I'm imprisoned and I want nothing more than to be home in the woods alone, but even walking around the Capitol seems like a good alternative.

As soon as we are outside, I take a deep breath. It feel's so wonderful to be out of there. Peeta grabs my hand and we trudge through the snow on the ground. It's not snowing now, But the thick, dark clouds over us suggest it will soon.

"Do you know where we're going?" I ask Peeta.

"I grabbed a map on the way out. We'll have to walk a few miles." He says.

"Peeta?" I say.

"Hmm?"

"What's going to happen when we get back home?"

"I don't know. I've been wondering the same thing lately."

"We'll have to move in together. Probaby your house, since my mother and Prim will be living in mine."

"Yes, I think that is what we should do."

"I don't think it's going to change much for us. I can still hunt and you can still bake. The only difference is we'll be at the same house."

"You know, if someone came to me before the Games and told me that in just under a year I'd be married to Katniss Everdeen, I would laugh in their face. It would have sounded like a dream."

"It sounds insane that we're married." I say. "I guess I'm not used to it yet."

"It doesn't seem like we're married. I mean it hasn't changed much from before. We'll still be the same."

"This is forever." I realize. "Together forever."

"Yeah, it sounded a lot better in my head when I was five."

I laugh. "It's not that bad. It could be worse. I could have married someone who I hate. At least I know I have you."

Peeta looks at me, a smile playing on his lips. "You'll always have me as long as you want me."

I smile without thinking. We're silent for a while.

The snow has begun to fall lightly. Little snowflakes float down slowly, and I reach up my hand to catch one. It lands on my glove and melts away in an instant.

My mind drifts to a memory of my father, taking me out hunting during the winter. It's bitter cold, but my cheeks are rosy from excitement. Today is the day I'm going to learn to shoot.

"Katniss, can you go over to that tree and get the bows?" My father asks.

"Bows?" I reply. I only remember there being only one. Still I run off a few feet away to the tree. I reach my hands into the hollow tree and find not one, but two bows. One larger one, that my father always uses, and a small one. My eyes light up.

I rush back over to my father and hand him the bows. He gives me the smaller one, which my little fingers eagerly wrap around in an instant.

"Now Katniss. This is your bow. Your very own. You have to promise to be very, very careful, okay?" I nod my head quickly, practically jumping in excitement.

I spend the entire day learning to shoot. That night when we get home, I talk for hours about my adventures in the woods.

"I miss my family." I say, breaking the silence.

"Me too." Peeta replies. "We'll see them soon, though."

"I mean how my family was before. When I was little, before my father died." It's been so long since I've talked about him. I realize I've never told Peeta about him.

"It's been nearly six years and it still hurts to think about." I say quietly. Peeta is silent, but he holds my hand a little tighter. "My mother was happy. She would laugh and play with Prim and I all the time. After he died, my mother lost it. For a while, we all cried. All day. But while Prim and I started to get better, my mother didn't. She got worse. We didn't have food or the means to get food. I did everything I could to feed them. I was out selling Prim's old baby clothes that day in the rain when you gave me that bread and saved my life." I say, looking at my feet. "I never thanked you for that. I wanted to, but I felt so ashamed."

"Katniss." Peeta says quietly. He stops walking and turns to face me.

"Thank you." I say, my voice cracking.

Peeta pulls me close to him and I wrap my arms around his waist, leaning my temple against his heart. His arms wind around me, rubbing my back soothingly. After a second he presses his cheek to my hair.

"We had this conversation in the cave, remember?" Peeta says. "You don't have to thank me. You saved my life in the arena. I would take a million beatings if it could save your life."

"I'm sorry." I tell him. "I don't know why I can't keep it together."

"You've been through a lot. You can't be strong forever." He whispers into my hair.

"I want to go home." I say.

"Me too." Peeta says. "Aren't honeymoons supposed to be perfect? This is more like hell. I can see if Effie can arrange for us to leave early." Peeta says.

He pulls away only slightly and rests his forehead on mine. "We'll be okay." He promises.

I make an effort to compose myself at least a little before we get going again.

That night, we call Effie. It takes a few minutes to convince her, but Peeta lies and says I'm not feeling well and may be getting sick. Effie promises a car will be by tomorrow morning to take us to the train station.

I fall into a deep sleep riddled with the same nightmare replaying over and over. Peeta wakes me up and calms me down at least three times before I decide I can't sleep and go out to the living room to let Peeta rest in peace.

I go to the window and lean my temple against it. It must be three in the morning, but still the Capitol is illuminated with lights. It looks almost beautiful, like a starry night sky. After a while, I go lay down on the couch. I think about what is to come for me when I return. Gale isn't going to want anything to do with me. He made that clear before I left for the Capitol.

I must doze off because the next thing I remember is Peeta gently shaking my shoulder. He tells me to dress in something warm, that the car will be arriving in a few minutes. I do as I am told and dress myself quickly. Peeta carries the bags he's packed for us down to the car.

The car ride is short and silent. Exhaustion is creeping up on me and it's difficult to keep my head upright. We're loaded onto the train just as the sun is rising. Effie greets us when we step on board. Peeta tries to be pleasant, but I can tell he's just as tired as I am. We politely tell Effie that we need to rest for a while, and promise to be down to lunch in a few hours.

I don't bother changing into pajamas. I just strip to my underclothes and climb in the covers. Peeta sits at the edge of the bed and takes his prosthetic off. I feel a pang of sadness every time I watch him do this. Indirectly, it's my fault.

After a moment, Peeta climbs in with me and stretches so he can get comfortable on his back. I prop myself up on my elbow. "Peeta?"

"Hmm?" He asks, turning his head to look at me. His blue eyes lock onto mine and stare at me so intently that I feel self concious. "I just wanted to apologize. For being so emotional today."

"There's no need to be sorry. We've both been a little less than happy the past couple of weeks." He pauses. "You've never talked about your father with me before."

"No," I confirm. "I don't talk about my father much with anyone. Except maybe Gale. But it's a touchy subject for both of us so we tend to leave it alone." After a moment of silence, I say "He hates me."

"What?" Peeta asks.

"Gale. He hates me. He as good as told me before we left."  
"He doesn't mean it. He's just hurt, Katniss. I can't imagine it. Being in love with someone for so long, and then watching her marry someone else. It must be hard." Peeta says. "That's what happened to my father. That's what I always thought would happen to me."

"Well it didn't." I say. "You have me."

"Yes. But this isn't what I wanted. I wanted you to love me back, and for us to have waited a while before we had a toasting. Not an overdone Capitol wedding. Just you and me."

I feel that guilt creeping up on me again. I stay quiet.

"We need some rest after lastnight." Peeta says quietly, brushing hair off of my forehead.

I move so that I can lay my head on his chest like always. It's a matter of minutes before we find sleep.

When I wake up again, my head is on Peeta's arm. I lift it up carefully, trying not to wake him up, and get out of bed to change. I am sifting through the bags Peeta left on the floor, trying to find something decent to wear home. I hear Peeta moving in the bed and stand up to greet him when I realize that I'm in nothing but my underclothes. I raise my clothes to my chest and hurry to the bathroom.

I dress quickly, and take my hair out of its braid, leaving it loose and wavy. As I'm brushing my teeth, I hear a faint knock on the door. "Katniss?" Peeta says.

I quickly spit and rinse out my mouth, opening the door. "Good morning." I say.

"Good morning to you too." He kisses my forehead. "How are you feeling?" He asks. I know he doesn't mean my health.

"Better." I answer. "We're going home."

"Yes, we are." Peeta smiles. "You do seem better. I'm glad."

"Me too." I say. "We still have some time before we have to go to lunch."

"Yes we do." Peeta says.

"I wanted to ask you a question. About what you said lastnight."

"What about it?" Peeta asks.

"Do you still love me? Honestly. I know I've hurt you. I know I still hurt you. And I know you deserve someone much better."

"Of course I still love you. I was hurt after the last Games. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop loving you. And I didn't want to love anyone else, even if you don't love me back."

"How do you know? That you love me, I mean."

"I just do. I know that I would do absolutely anything for you. You mean everything to me."

I try to dig through my own feelings. I would do anything for Peeta. I owe him my life, I always will. But does he mean everything to me? I do care for him. A lot. That I know. Maybe I even love him, at least as a friend. Someday, maybe more than a friend. But for now, I'll leave things how they are.

So when I rise up on tiptoe to kiss him, it seems natural and not driven by emotion or because I needed to distract him. It's wonderful and sweet and short, because in a matter of seconds Effie's pounding on the door. "Peeta! Katniss! Up, up, up! Lunch is in ten minutes!" Effie says. Peeta laughs. "I think it's time for lunch."

"I'll let you get dressed and meet you out there." I promise, kissing his cheek lightly before I leave the bathroom.

I walk to the dining car and sit in the chair closest to the window, watching the world fly by at a dizzying speed. Effie takes a seat across from me. "Where is Peeta?" She asks, clearly annoyed that he is late.  
"Getting dressed." I say. As if on cue, he walks in and takes a seat next to me.

Food is brought out, pasta with a creamy sauce. Effie addresses the schedule with us, which consists of interviews and photoshoots in the coming weeks. She tells us a camera crew will come to our house and film a bit of our married lives. I scowl.

I wonder if they will ever be a time when the Capitol forgets about us. When our lives no longer become interesting to them. It can't last forever.

* * *

We arrive at the train station in 12 late that night. Nobody is there to greet us. We thank Effie for everything and begin the short walk to Victor's Village.

Bitter wind whips through District 12, numbing me to my core. Peeta wraps his arm around me, but he's shivering too. We walk quickly, eager to be home and warm. It's only a few minutes later when our houses are in sight, and relief rolls through me.

Peeta fishes around in his pocket to find his key, and he realizes he left it at the bakery before we left. I glance across the street at my own house. The lights are off, but I know Prim and my mother must be home.

I ring the doorbell once. It only takes a second for my mother to come downstairs and open the door. Her eyes widen when she sees us.

"Katniss? What are you doing home so early?" She steps aside and let's us in. I bend down to take off my boots.

"I couldn't take it there any more, we left this morning. And Peeta left his key at the bakery." I explain. "I'm sorry for waking you."

"It's alright, dear." She says, embracing me. She turns to Peeta and embraces him too.

"Would you like some tea?" She asks.

"Mother, you need to sleep. It's the middle of the night." She nods, remembering the time. She wishes us goodnight and disappears upstairs.

Peeta sits on the sofa and sighs. "I'll go make us some tea." I say. I head to the kitchen and boil the water, watching it carefully so I don't wake my mother and Prim.

As soon as the the water begins to bubble, I pour it into two mugs and brew the tea. I plop two sugar cubes in my tea and leave Peeta's unsweetened.

I come back into the living room and hand Peeta his mug. He sips it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I reply. I see he's started a fire. I move from the couch to in front of the fire place, crossing my legs in front of me. I sip my tea carefully, it's still very hot. I slowly begin to defrost and regain feeling in my toes.

When we finish our tea, we set the mugs in the sink and tiptoe upstairs. I peer into Prim's room just for a moment, smiling at the sight of her. Then I shut the door gently and head to my room. It's pitch black and cold, since it hasn't been used in a long time. Peeta flips on the light.

"Do you have something to wear to bed?" I ask Peeta, realizing we left our clothes on the train. He shrugs.

"I'll just wear my shorts." I nod and go to my dresser to find some pajamas. I change quickly, glad to be out of my cold clothes and into some warm ones.

Peeta is already in bed when I come out. His hands lay behind his head and he stares at the ceiling. I turn off the light and climb into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. I snuggle into Peeta and I feel his arm go around me.

"Katniss?" He asks after a moment.  
"Hmm?"

"What if we just live here?"

"You mean you move in with me instead of me moving in with you?"

"Yeah. I'm at the bakery most of the time anyways. And I know you don't want to leave your family yet."

"Yes. I like that idea." I say. I honestly do, I'm not ready to leave Prim just yet.

"I can start moving tomorrow." Peeta yawns.  
"Okay." Silence. "Maybe this won't be so bad after all." I say quietly.

But Peeta's already fast asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello readers :)**

**Massive thanks to those of you lovely people who read, favorite, follow, or review my story! It makes me happy to see you taking an interest in my silly little hobby.**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

My mother lets us sleep in. It must be nearly noon when I feel Peeta moving beside me and open my eyes. Not wanting to start the day quite yet, I bury my face in Peeta's shirt and wrap my arm around his waist. He laughs, and I feel the vibration of his laughter ripple through his chest. "Come on, Katniss. We need to get up." He says.

"I don't want to." I mumble into his shirt.

"It's moving day." Peeta says, gently prying me off of him. I open my eyes again and am immediately met with his stare. I can never get over how blue his eyes are.

"Good morning." Peeta says with a smile.

"Good morning." I reply. Peeta sits up and scoots over to the edge of the bed, putting on his prosthetic. I sit up and push the blankets off of my legs. "I'm going to go take a shower." I say, standing up.

"I'll be waiting downstairs." Peeta says, dressing into his clothes from yesterday.

I take a long shower, enjoying the comfort of being in my own shower at home. When my fingers begin to prune, I step out and dry off. I wrap myself in a towel and go into my room to find some clothes.

In my closet, I find a plain black shirt and some soft pants. I dress into them quickly and slip on some socks before heading downstairs.

"Good morning, dear." My mother says from the kitchen. She and Peeta are sitting at the table, eating what looks like soup.

"Good morning." I say. I go to the stove and grab a bowl of soup for myself. I take a seat next to my mother.

"Peeta just informed me that you two are going to live here." My mother says lightly.

I take a bite and nod. "I wanted to be as close to you and Prim as possible. We thought it would be easier this way, too."

"I'm glad you will be staying here." She says. She finishes her soup and takes her bowl the the sink.

"I need to go to the bakery and get my key. Do you want to come, Katniss?" Peeta asks.

"Of course." I answer.

"I'm running low on bandages again, do you think you could stop by and pick some up?" My mother asks as she dries her hands.

"Yeah, we can do that." Peeta replies. "I need to run errands anyways."

We finish our soup and head out the door. Almost immediately, Peeta laces his fingers in mine. Of course. Just because we are home, does not mean we can portray ourselves to be anything but husband and wife.

It's relatively warm for a March afternoon. The bitter wind that froze me last night has been replaced with a cool breeze that makes the outside temperature as close to perfect as I can remember in recent months.

We are met with a few stares as we make our way through town. "We have an interview soon. With Caesar." I say.

"Yes, within a few weeks. I'm sure the Capitol is very interested in us living together now."

"I'm sure." I say. "I don't get it, why they care so much."

"They won't eventually. Someday we'll be forgotten and replaced with new set of Victors."

The thought makes me almost smile. A regular life. Well, as regular as my life can be.

I'm met with a wonderful aroma as soon as we approach the bakery. Little cakes and pastries are neatly arranged in the window, although I notice not as skillfully frosted as usual.

"Do you want me to stay out here?" I ask. I'm sure Peeta's mother wants nothing to do with me.

"No, of course not. You're technically a Mellark yourself." He smiles and pulls me up the steps with him.

Peeta pushes the door open and we step inside. It smells even better than it did outside. I look at all of the treats around me and feel my mouth water, although I just ate.

"Peeta?" Graham says as he walks into the front of the bakery. "I thought you wouldn't be back for a while."  
"Katniss wasn't feeling well, so we decided to come home early." Peeta replies.

"Well, we've missed you Muffin. What's it like being a married man?"

"It doesn't seem much different." Peeta shrugs.

"Is he annoying you yet, Katniss?" Graham asks with a smirk. "Muffin can get pretty irritating."

"I don't think we've been married long enough to start annoying each other."

Peeta laughs. "You could never annoy me." He slips his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "You're perfect."

"Ugh. Well, I'm going to leave you to alone and go get Mom and Dad and Rye. I'm sure they'll want to see you. And please, keep your clothes on in case we get customers."

I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks and scowl. Peeta laughs when he sees my expression.

"He's just kidding, Katniss."

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Rye opens the door and steps in, carrying a tray full of cookies. "Peeta, you're back."

"Yes, we came home early." Peeta says. Rye sets the tray on the counter and starts putting cookies in the display case. "Mom and Dad will be back in a minute. They left to pick up supplies from the train."

"Okay. Hey, do you happen to know where my house key is? I left it with Dad before we left."

"I think it's upstairs. In your old room."

"I'll go check, thanks Rye."

I follow Peeta upstairs. He opens the first door on the right, his room. He flips on a switch and the room is filled with a dim light.

"Welcome to where I used to live," he says. "I think they're using this room as storage or something now."

Boxes line the walls, but the small splotches of dried paint on the wood floors confirm Peeta's presence here. I smile.

Peeta grabs a key from a table in the corner. "This is the one," he says, waving it in front of him. "Ready to go?"

I nod. We head back downstairs and are immediately greeted with the sight of Peeta's parents, carrying more boxes upstairs.

"Peeta!" His father says. "Graham told us you came home early." He sets the boxes down on a step and holds his arms out to embrace Peeta.

"Katniss, how are you?" He pulls me into a hug and laughs. "It's good to see you, both of you."

"It's great to see you too, Dad." Peeta chuckles.

"You need to stop by for dinner sometime. We have some catching up to do."

"Yes, we'd love to come." Peeta says, pulling me closer to him. The look on his mother's face does nothing to mask her anger. I smile as sweetly as I can manage and lay my head on Peeta's arm. "So, we are moving into Katniss's house today. We thought it would be best to stay closer to her family." Peeta says. "We need to get going if we want to be moved in by the end of the day."

"It was good seeing you, son." Peeta's father says. "Really, you need to stop by sometime."

"We will. Maybe in a few days, when we're settled." Peeta turns to me. "Ready to go?"

"Sure." I reply. "It was good seeing all of you."

"It was good seeing you too, Katniss. Stop by as often as you want, you're a Mellark now."

That's right. I am a Mellark now. I wonder if I'll ever get used to it, being married to Peeta. I'm sure I will. It doesn't seem all that different from what we had before, only it seems like we're always together instead of ignoring each other. And while we're still mostly acting, I'm starting to question how much of our relationship is genuine. I know Peeta loves me. But on just what level are my feelings for him?

We make our way through town, visiting a few shops. I buy bandages for my mother and get some chocolates for Prim. I can't wait to see her, she'll be home from school in just a couple of hours.

Peeta slides his key into the lock on his house. "I wonder if they'll take my house back."

"They might. I didn't even think about it. If we lived here, would they take my house back? Make my mother and Prim move back to the Seam?"

"I don't know." Peeta says, opening the door. His house is identical to mine, with the same furniture and paint colors. The only noticeable difference is the faint smell of cinnamon and paint.

"I don't have much to move. Clothes and painting supplies, mostly." Peeta says. We find some boxes in the basement and I head upstairs to start packing, while Peeta packs downstairs.

I go to his closet and start pulling clothes from hangers and shelves and placing them in a box. As I reach into the closet to grab the last of his shirts, I notice a small black box on the top shelf. I take it down and place it next to the other boxes that lie on his bed. I'm tempted to open it, but I don't want to invade Peeta's privacy.

I finish with his clothes and walk around his room to scoop up any pictures or things he may want. In the bathroom, I pack his medicines. But besides that, Peeta's right. He doesn't have much to pack. I head back downstairs, carrying the two boxes I managed to fill, with the black box on top. I set them down by the door.

"Peeta?" I call.

"In here," he says from the kitchen. I walk in and see him packing some baking supplies.

"Need any help?" I ask. With a smile, he shakes his head. "No, this is the last box." He tosses in a few more recipe books and closes the box.

It only takes two trips to get all of the boxes over to my house. My mother isn't home, she must be out.

We unpack in silence. I'm unpacking some of Peeta's baking stuff when I hear the front door open. I walk out into the front of the house and grin when I see Prim. "Hey, little duck." I say. She smiles and sets down buttercup. "I'm so glad you're home early." She says, wrapping her arms around me. "I wanted to see you this morning, when mother told me you got home early. But she told me to let you rest."

"How was school?" I ask.

"Boring. Just more on the structure of coal mines." Prim puts her book bag down and bends over to untie her shoes. "Why are you over here? Shouldn't you be at Peeta's?" She asks, slipping her shoes off.

"We decided to live here. His house is just to big for only two of us." I say.

Peeta comes downstairs with a stack of empty boxes. "Katniss, I'm finished upstairs. Do you want help?" He sets the boxes down in the kitchen and comes to the living room.

"Hey, Prim." He says, smiling.

"Hello, Peeta." She replies sweetly. An angry Buttercup paws at her leg. She bends down and scoops him up. "I'd be glad to help you unpack your things."

"I think we're almost done," Peeta says. He looks at me. "Right?"

"Right." I say. "There's just one more box in the kitchen."

We finish packing in a matter of minutes, and Prim sits down at the table to do her homework. Peeta and I decide to play chess. I've never played, so it takes a while for Peeta to teach me.

It must be another hour or so until my mother returns. She tells us she's been visiting Hazel. She starts making dinner, and I beat Peeta at a third game of chess.

After I win five straight games, I can't help but think he's letting me win. "Peeta." I say.

"What?" He says, a little too innocently.

"Are you letting me win?" I ask.

He puts his hand to his chest in mock astonishment. "I would never."

I laugh. "That's not fair."

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry you're awful at chess." He smirks. I stand up and throw a chess piece at him. He tries to scoot his chair away before it hits him, but ends up falling backwards instead.

"Peeta!" I say, laughing. He rolls over and lays on the ground covering his face. My laughter dissolves. "Are you okay?" I ask, kneeling next to him on the floor. I gently pry his hands away to see that he's laughing too. I smack his shoulder.

"I thought you were hurt." I say, trying to be angry. It doesn't work. A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth.

My mother comes in, drying her hands on a towel. "What is going on in here?"

Peeta and look at each other and erupt in laughter. My mother rolls her eyes, but she's smiling.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes," she says. With a chuckle, she turns and goes back into the kitchen. I lay down on the floor next to Peeta and attempt to stop my laughter. I wipe the tears from my eyes and clutch my stomach.

"That's the hardest I've laughed in a long time." I say. "My stomach hurts."

"I'm glad I can provide such quality entertainment," he says.

I stand up and hold out my hands to help him up. He can't get a good grip with his prosthetic, so instead he just falls back down and pulls me on top of him. We're nose to nose. For a moment, I consider kissing him. But then I remember my mother and Prim just a room over. I roll off of him and try to help him up again, this time he manages to stand. But he doesn't let go of my hands.

He takes a step closer to me, so that our toes are touching. "I believe you owe me something after all of that." He says quietly, barely above a whisper. He moves his face so that it's only an inch or two from mine.

"Like what?" I whisper back. He pulls his hands away from mine and wraps them around my waist.

"Like this." His lips press against mine, softly. I wrap my own arms around his neck and kiss him back. When I hear my mother coming, I pull away quickly. Married or not, I don't want to make things awkward for everyone in the house. Somehow I know that my mother would probably not be happy with me and Peeta's sudden change in affection.

* * *

"Katniss, could you lift the spoon a little higher? There we go. Perfect. Now smile nice and big, but don't look at the camera, look at the spoon. Great."

We've been home for one week, and already our privacy has been disrupted. Effie and our prep teams arrived last night, but the camera crew didn't show up until this morning. We've had to spend our entire day taking ridiculous pictures for the photo shoot.

Frolla, the photographer, is a strange woman. Her skin is pale yellow, and she has jewels embedded in lines down her arms. Her hair is very bright green and spiked straight up and is very distracting when you're supposed to be focusing on Peeta and not the photographer.

At the moment, Peeta and I are pretending to bake cookies. We've done a variety of poses and smiles to "perfectly portray our lives as a married couple". In between shoots, our clothes are changed and our hair is redone to make it look like the pictures have been taken over a series of days, not hours.

My mother manages to slip us sandwiches and sips of tea here and there throughout the chaos. I'm grateful she's here, or I'd starve. Apparently, people in the Capitol don't eat. Or at least they don't for eight hours at a time.

By about three, my cheeks hurt so bad that I can't even attempt a smile. Peeta has to constantly remove his prosthetic and massage the end of his amputated leg because he's been on it all day. By five, Frolla is so angry at us I'm beginning to wonder if she's plotting our murder. Peeta and I make an effort to cooperate, but we're both so tired it's nearly impossible.

After what seems like a thousand pictures, the camera crew packs up and goes, leaving behind a very flustered but very pleased Effie who promises us she will visit soon, this time with Caesar Flickerman who will do an interview with us at our home next week.

By the time I sink into bed late that night, I'm so far beyond exhaustion that sleep comes quickly. When I open my eyes, it's bright and sunny outside and the bed beside me is empty.

I dress quickly, slipping on my father's hunting jacket. I plan on hunting today, it's been a very long time since I've been in the woods and I'm giddy with excitement.

I must have slept in late, since Peeta's already gone at the bakery and Prim's at school. I grab my game bag and a muffin that Peeta baked a couple of days ago. It's tricky trying to eat a muffin while lacing my boots, but I manage and am on my way to the woods in a matter of seconds.

It's warm. What little snow was left has melted away, and the first signs of spring are popping up. My eye catches a little weed by the fence, and I realize that it's not just a weed, it's a dandelion. Or, it will be.

After nearly a month of not being in the woods, coming here is such a treat. I feel like a little girl again, joining my father on a hunting trip. I walk to the tree where I hide my bow and arrows. My fingers wrap themselves around my bow, and something inside me sparks. Freedom, after so many days of being a puppet.

I hunt for a few hours. I'm able to only get a few rabbits, but I'm not disappointed. Instead, what would have been a bad day a year ago has been the best day I've had in a very long time.

I get home in the late afternoon, tired but feeling more alive. Prim's home from school, and is bubbling over with excitement. Her teachers said there is going to be a mandatory programming tonight. "I think it's going to be your photo shoot!"

"It can't be, Prim. They only did the pictures yesterday." I say.

"Well that's what somebody heard." she says.

That night, sure enough, there is a mandatory programming. And Prim was right, it is our photo shoot. I watch as the pictures flash by and can't help but smile at how ridiculous they are.

"Where is Peeta?" My mother asks after a minute.

"He's at the bakery. I'm sure he stayed there to watch the programming."

When the last of the pictures are shown, Caesar goes on for a while about our future as wedded victors. I'm about to shut off the television, but then Caesar is telling us to stay tuned for the other big event of the evening. "That's right, this year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!"

"What will they do? It isn't for months yet." Prim says.

"It must be the reading of the card." Is all my mother says. Her expression is solemn, distant.

President Snow takes the stage as the anthem begins playing, followed by a little boy in a white suit. I try hard to push down the bile that rises in my throat.

When the anthem ends, he gives the speech about the Dark Days and a brief history on the previous Quells. Then the little boy steps forward and lifts the lid to the box in his hands. Snow takes out a yellowed slip of paper and without hesitation, reads "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder that not even the strongest among them can overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

My mother gives a faint shreik and Prim buries her face in her hands, but I feel more like the people I see in the crowd on the television. Slightly baffled. What does that mean? Existing pool of victors?

Then I get it, what it means. At least for me. District 12 only has three existing victors. Two male, one female...

I am going back into the arena.

* * *

**Well I just took the fluffy (semi) happiness that was just starting in this story and butchered it. Sorry, Katniss. I'm sticking with most of the plot in the books. Which means you have trouble ahead.**

**Thanks for reading :) **

**Chapter 7 will be up soon, but I can't make any promises as to when. Life is hectic.**


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